You Recognized the Pattern. Now Let Me Help You Break It.
You just watched the video. And something landed.
Maybe it was the car scene. Maybe it was the slow exhale through the nose. Maybe it was the line about crying leading to a performance review.
Whatever it was, your chest tightened. Because you were not just watching a video. You were watching your Tuesday night. Your Sunday morning. Your last three years.
And now you know what the calm voice really is. You know it is not composure. It is a weapon. You know the head tilt, the contempt micro-expression, the folded arms, the deliberate emotional flatline. You can name the signals now.
But here is the part the video could not do for you.
Knowing what it is does not stop your nervous system from falling for it again.
You Can See the Trap. But Your Body Still Walks Into It.
You have read the articles. You have watched dozens of videos. You can explain narcissistic abuse to a friend better than most therapists can. And yet...
The next time he goes calm, your voice will still rise
The next time he tilts his head and says “I think you should talk to someone about this,” your stomach will still drop
The next time you try to set a boundary and he says “I hear you” in that flat voice, you will still wonder if you are the problem
The next time you catch him in a lie and he does not flinch, some part of you will still think: maybe I AM confused
This is not a knowledge problem. This is a body problem. Your nervous system was trained over months or years to respond exactly the way he needs you to respond. Awareness alone does not retrain it.
That is what coaching is for.
What Happens in a Session With Me
This is not therapy. I am not going to ask you about your childhood for six months before we get to the thing that is destroying you right now.
This is targeted, body-language-based coaching designed to do three things:
First, I decode your specific situation. Not a generic narcissist. YOUR narcissist. The exact tactics he uses. The exact sequences. The micro-expressions, the posture shifts, the vocal patterns that he deploys to shut you down. I will walk you through what he is doing with his body and why it works on you specifically.
Second, I retrain your response pattern. Remember the sentence from the video? “I am not going to compete for who seems more reasonable right now. I said what I needed to say.” That is one tool. In a coaching session, I build you a complete toolkit calibrated to YOUR dynamic. What to say. What NOT to say. Where to look. How to breathe. How to hold your body so that HIS composure stops being a weapon.
Third, I show you the pattern before it starts. The calm voice is never the first move. There are signals that come before it, signals most people miss because they do not know what to look for. I teach you to read the setup so you are never ambushed by the performance again.
This Is for You If...
You recognized yourself in that video and your first thought was “but knowing this will not change what happens tomorrow night”
You have been told you are “too emotional,” “too sensitive,” or “dramatic” so many times that part of you believes it
You have stopped bringing things up, not because the problems went away, but because raising them costs more than carrying them
You leave conversations feeling like you owe someone an apology for having feelings
You can feel your voice rising and you HATE yourself for it but you cannot stop it
You have gone quiet, and you know the quiet was not your choice, it was trained into you
You are exhausted from doing all the emotional labor in a relationship where the other person contributes nothing but a calm stare and a tilted head
This Is NOT for You If...
You are looking for someone to validate leaving or staying. That is your decision. I will never make it for you.
You want a diagnosis of your partner. I am not a therapist and I will not label anyone.
You are not ready to do uncomfortable work. Retraining your responses means sitting with discomfort. I will be kind, but I will not be soft about the parts that matter.
Why Me and Not a Therapist?
I am not against therapy. Some of my clients are in therapy and coaching with me simultaneously. They do different things.
A therapist helps you understand your wounds. I help you stop getting new ones.
My entire career has been built on reading people. I have spent over 15 years studying and teaching body language, micro-expressions, deception detection, and nonverbal influence. I have analyzed hundreds of hours of manipulative behavior frame by frame. I know what the calm voice looks like from the OUTSIDE, which means I can teach you to see it in real time instead of only recognizing it three hours later when you are lying in bed replaying the conversation.
What I bring to the table that most coaches and therapists do not:
A body language framework that makes the invisible visible. I do not just tell you “he is manipulating you.” I show you the EXACT physical signals, the ones you can see with your own eyes, so you never have to wonder again.
Pattern recognition trained on hundreds of real cases. I have studied how manipulators behave across every context. I know the playbook because I have reverse-engineered it.
Actionable counter-strategies, not just insight. Every session ends with something you can USE. Not something to think about. Something to DO the next time it happens.
How It Works
Investment: $500 per session (60 minutes, one-on-one, video call)
What you get:
A full 60 minutes of focused, private coaching with me personally
A body language breakdown of YOUR specific situation (bring examples, bring stories, bring the thing that happened last Tuesday)
A personalized response toolkit you can deploy immediately
A recording of the session so you can revisit the strategies when you need them most
Email follow-up for 7 days after the session for any questions that come up when you start applying what we covered
How to book: Click the link below to schedule your session. You will fill out a brief intake form so I can prepare specifically for YOUR situation before we ever get on the call. This is not a generic coaching call. By the time we start, I will already have a read on your dynamic.
“Is $500 a Lot?”
Let me reframe that for you.
How much has the calm voice already cost you?
How many nights have you spent replaying conversations, counting glasses, wondering if your laugh was too loud? How many mornings have you woken up exhausted because your nervous system never turned off? How many times have you swallowed something that needed to be said because the last time you said it, you ended up being the one who apologized?
How much have you spent on therapy that helped you understand the wound but did not stop the knife?
One session with me is designed to change the dynamic in your very next interaction. Not in six months. Not after a workbook and a journaling exercise. In your next conversation.
You were never the unstable one. You were the only person in that room actually feeling something. That was never your weakness.
Now let me show you how to make it your power.
Much Love and Bliss,
Jesús.
The Body Language Guy