I have always been fascinated by the words that others choose to express themselves.
It’s like observing their body language; but in this case it’s not their gestures, but their vocabulary.
The pauses they make after certain adjectives, the emphasis on verbs, the emotion in some nouns.
Just as important are the words they choose to convey an idea.
Each word we use has a certain ‘power’. And one that seems especially powerful to me is:
(It’s not just about how you say it, but living it).
Being honest saves you a lot of problems, like false expectations. It helps us build trust among all and definitely make us more charismatic.
It’s also a somewhat mysterious word.
Sometimes, your intuition has told you: “Hey, I think this person is lying to me.”
But how many times have you told yourself, “I think this person is sincere”?
Sincerity helps this state of ‘flow’ between us.
Being honest with others is relatively easy.
Do you know what is really difficult?
Being honest to yourself.
First of all, there is no ‘Self-deceiving Police’.
If you choose to lie to yourself, nobody will find out. You can even look the other way, or look for some distraction.
But you know what? That drop, that disagreement, is still there.
And every time you do it, you are modeling your brain to accept what is really a lie.
Accept something that is not you.
Why do we sometimes run away from who we really are?
There are many answers. None is totally satisfactory.
You may feel afraid of others finding out who you really are; so much effort trying to fit in… you’re not going to lose it overnight!
But the opposite can also happen: you wanted to get attention, be an iconoclast just to be noticed. Maybe you fear that otherwise they won’t even know that you exist?
From this side of the keyboard it’s impossible for me to know where you are between those two extremes.
But I know that like me, at some point you will have suffered for one of these reasons:
1) Someone was not sincere with you
2) You were not sincere with someone
Leaving aside that it is always appropriate to speak with tact, the lack of sincerity has filled us with a complete album of unpleasant situations.
Because I work with body language, people usually think my job is ‘knowing how to detect when someone is not sincere’.
But the process of learning to be honest with myself has been much more arduous.
One thing that still baffles me, is that the more I tried to understand the behavior of others, the more I knew myself.
Like you can’t develop one without the other.
I am still far from mastering this process, but it has helped me to realize that what I was looking for in others, I was not giving first; What I criticized outwards was just my reflection.
If it sounds familiar to you, you already know what it feels like.
I know you are thinking, and remembering, some circumstance where you were not sincere with others. Could it possibly be because you were not first honest with yourself?
We can make sure next time different.
You know my fascination with human behavior; the same fascination that has driven me to dedicate half of my life, more than twenty years, to study why we act as we do.
I would like to save you those two decades of research. So you can apply the same tools that I have developed for me throughout this time, starting today.
On the other hand, you will not be on your own. I will be your guide and I solemnly commit to leveling up your skills to get to know not only others, but yourself.
This is my work, and my promise.
You can see the complete information of the program, in this link:
I’m also open to any questions you may have.
Nice to share this path with you,
Jesús Enrique Rosas – @knesix