Category: Body Language

Since we’re in a constant bath of loud stimuli, body language goes unnoticed most of the time.

But there’s a secret switch deep inside your limbic system that you can consciously turn open, this way:

Think of body language as if it were a communication channel.

Let’s imagine that words are a bright blue channel that originates in the mouth of people.

Body language is a bright red that originates from the chest.

Every time someone speaks, you can ‘see’ the blue channel oscillating like a frequency analyzer.

Of course, if the person goes silent, the blue line goes dormant too.

But what could happen with the red channel?

Yes; it’s always sending signals. Even if the person doesn’t move, their posture is giving away some of their emotions.

That’s the mind-switch to remind yourself that your limbic system is perpetually catching those signals, translating them to ‘intuition’, and sending them to your consciousness.

They often get mixed in everyday noise; but if you remember the existence of that red channel, you’ll flick the switch on again.

Note: It’s normal that at first, you’ll have to ‘turn it on’ several times through the day.

Give it a couple or two weeks and it will remain ‘always on’ without you noticing.

Of course, you’ll be busy catching all those body language signals.

Would you like to know what do they mean?

Then start by downloading my 100+ body language secrets, here:

Download “100+ Body Language Tips” – @Knesix

Much success,

Jesús Enrique Rosas
The Body Language Guy

Maybe you’ve never tried to ‘fake it till you make it’ with your body language.

But if you wonder why it sometimes your body does the exact opposite of what you are truly feeling, here’s the reason:

Yes, your body language sparks from your limbic system, but its final expression is also filtered through your reasoning.

You’re aware of your own feelings and maybe you either want desperately to communicate them, or on the contrary hide them so nobody notices.

In either scenario, your rational mind garbles your body expression.

That’s why innocent people can send guilt signals during an interrogation.

Or, you don’t want someone to know they upset you, but in the end they notice your uncomfortable body language.

So, wether you want to convey or hide your TRUE feelings or intentions… your body language doesn’t always cooperate.

But there’s a solution to this.

You must be aware of the SITUATION.

I call it “looking at the situation with a fresh pair of eyes”.

Your body language ‘betrays’ you, only because you’re too self-immersed in your circumstances.

But once you remember to recognize your feelings, what sparks them, the feelings of the other person and their possible intentions… you can think with a clearer mind.

And a clearer mind leads to a cooperating body language.

The question is, how do you manage to keep calm and juggle all these factors at the same time?

You need mental and emotional training for that, in small daily steps until you can manage your actions, both verbal and nonverbal.

A good start is downloading my free 100+ body language tips here:

https://knesix.com/tips

Much success!

Jesús Enrique Rosas
The Body Language Guy

Values are extremely important.

If you don’t define your own values, you’ll aim at living with the wrong ones.

Worse: Hanging out with people with totally different values not aligned with yours, can derail you big time.

Example: It’s OK to crave Wealth and Power.

Somebody has to do the big things, right?

But maybe you were raised with the concept that those are not values, but sins.

So you end up hanging out with people whose values have ‘high status’ in society’s mind.

For example: Spirituality.

Not that Spirituality (or Power) are ‘bad’ or ‘good’ values.

People can be wealthy and humble at the same time, as an example.

But if you don’t ‘listen to yourself’ and define the values you’ll be striving for, you’re all set for a life full of frustration.

Some people value Achievement. Some value Leisure.

Some value Growth, others Altruism.

Some want to rule the world, some want to heal others’ wounds.

No value is good or bad.

As long as it’s yours, you recognize it, and live your life by it.

There is absolutely no use for a life lived in misery because you thought you had to live with ‘high’ or ‘good’ values.

Many famous entrepreneurs were total assholes, but created products that made our life easier and better.

They embraced their values in spite of headlines.

Don’t think Life is going to reward you for picking the ‘good’ values and pursuing them even if they make you miserable.

In fact, Life doesn’t give a half sh*t if you identify and live by YOUR OWN values.

But, which option sounds better?

One critical step to know yourself and your values is to be aware of your own Body Language at all times.

That way you understand why you react in a certain way to certain events.

To help you in that discovery, download my free tips here:

https://knesix.com/tips

Much success!

Jesús Enrique Rosas
The Body Language Guy

When someone asks me about how long they should keep eye contact, I often mention the 5 second rule.

Not that locking your eyes for longer is wrong, but you should be aware of what happens inside you:

We already know through scientific research that long stares release oxytocin, which in turn makes us feel good.

But that’s just half of the story, because you and I perfectly know how uncomfortable can it be if someone just keeps staring at us for no reason!

That’s because eye contact is an intimate communication.

Our “windows to the soul” speak at all times, even when closed. A deep, mysterious language that we can somehow comprehend.

It’s too bad that when a woman tries to ‘talk’ with her eyes to a man… he just doesn’t get the message, because of rationalization.

(And it often happens the other way, too)

We are attracted to faces. And when our eyes land on one, we specifically target their eyes.

That communication bridge is instantaneous; and so powerful, strangers often look away within seconds of accidentally looking at each other.

Want to test its power? just sit and lock eyes with a loved one. Give it 30 seconds, no words. Smiles are optional, but don’t look away.

Repeat once every day. I won’t spoil it, but you’ll notice that your feelings… change.

Your bond will become stronger.

Just by staring into each other’s eyes.

But what happens when you want to decipher stranger’s eye language?

I’ve got you covered with my complete program to understand the fascinating language of the face and eyes.

If you combine their words, their voice and their eyes… you will be able to decipher those secret codes.

And you will understand.

It takes just a minute to start, here:

https://knesix.com/body-language-certification/

I’ll be waiting for you at my virtual campus,

Jesús Enrique Rosas

I can read your body language and write a story about it.

We usually think that body language is the only way that we can send a message without using words.

But it’s just one aspect of nonverbal communication, and these 12 examples will boost your people analysis skills:

In this article, you will find out:

– The three types of hand gestures,
– A secret that eyes reveal, and
– How communication goes way beyond your body.

You can see the original video here:

#1: Your general posture

No matter if you’re standing or seated, your body posture is the first clue to reveal your current mood.

That’s one of the quickest ways to assess someone’s feelings in just a couple seconds, thanks to their global body language.

One example is Alpha and Beta postures. One of them projects confidence and the other insecurity.

You can even feel more confident by just assuming an Alpha posture.

The easiest way to tell the difference is the way the shoulders are broad and relaxed in one, or tense and contracted in the other.

#2: Facial expression of emotions

We are naturally drawn to see faces, and that’s why it’s the most important area when we want to express emotions without words.

Most of the time we pick those signals by intuition, but with a little practice you can spot them consciously.

One example is when someone presses their lips, you know that they have an emotional reaction.

Our faces can show seven basic emotions, but it’s more important if you can spot these more subtle changes.

I recommend that you get used to pay attention to faces during a conversation.

#3: Illustrator gestures to emphasize words

When someone uses their hands to make their point clearer, those are called illustrator gestures.

They are very important because they help the other person understand and remember your words and connect deeper with them.

For example, if you’re saying that something is big, or tall, or try to emphasize a point and your hands move in unison.

Every time your hands support what you are saying, you’re using illustrator gestures.

They are very easy to detect, because people almost never try to hide them.

#4: Voice tone and volume

Another nonverbal communication example that usually doesn’t get enough attention is the quality of our voice.

Unless people know how to control their emotions, their voice is going to be the first channel that reveals their inner state.

For example, when someone is excited or upset, they’re going to raise their voice. If they feel insecure, they will lower it.

This is great news because this way you can detect someone’s emotions without even having to look at them.

You just have to practice active listening whenever you can.

#5: Manipulator gestures that reveal stress

If illustrator gestures emphasize words, manipulator gestures reveal an emotional reaction to a situation.

You can spot them because they add absolutely nothing to the message that the person wants to convey.

There are many examples like rubbing the eyes, pulling the earlobe, touching the nose. Those are manipulator gestures.

They are not directly related to lying but instead to some emotional discomfort.

If you’re paying attention at the person’s body language you should have no problem spotting them.

#6: Clothing and accesories

As I said before, nonverbal communication is not only about body language, because the way people dress gives clues about their personality.

And the best question you can ask in your mind is, what kind of person chooses to dress this way?

Some people claim that the way they dress has nothing to do with their personality, but that’s wrong.

Because in most cases, they choose what to wear. It’s a decision that they make.

So it’s a matter of reverse engineering that decision to make a Sherlock Holmes guess about their character.

#7: The secrets in their eyes

I know that eyes are part of facial expressions, but they reveal so much information that you could just focus on them.

After all, they’re called the windows to the soul, and for a good reason: we can express emotions just moving them.

Wether is rolling our eyes, or we notice that someone is blinking faster, or someone points in the direction of another with their gaze.

All those are signals that we give away even if we cover our entire face.

It’s not a coincidence that we’re are always drawn to see other people’s eyes.

#8: proxemics and interaction distance

Different cultures have different customs about how close do people stand to each other when talking or just hanging out.

But at the same time, those differences in interaction distance can reveal what kind of relationship they have.

Proxemics is also about the way our gestures reach out to the other person during a conversation.

If you see two people talking and they don’t have problem sharing that personal space, then you know they feel comfortable.

That’s another nonverbal communication example can be spotted not only in couples but also in groups.

#9: Custom hand gestures or emblems

By now you’ve noticed that there’s much more to hands that just a few gestures to emphasize our words.

But there are also emblems, that are hand gestures with a certain meaning that is given by the culture or society.

For example, the ok sign or the thumbs up are emblems that have meaning even if you just see an isolated hand.

Just remember that the same emblems can have different meanings in different cultures, so be careful.

When you visit other countries, it’s a good idea to know in advance about this.

#10: Our personal space

If the way we dress can reveal details about our personality, our living and working spaces also give a nonverbal message.

That’s why it’s important to pay attention to someone’s house, or apartment, or office to see what can give us information about them.

Do they have plants? what kind of books do they have? is the space tidy or it’s a mess? do they have pictures? posters? paintings?

It’s a good practice to reverse engineer someone’s personal space to make a guess about their character.

And the one of the most important clues that we can get is what do they like?

#11: Haptics and touching others.

No matter the culture, there are always going to be people who like to touch others, and people who really hate to be touched.

But for example, the handshake is one of the most common forms of touching and you can tell a lot from someone’s grip.

You can put a hand on someone’s shoulder or back to show support.

And there’s the fact that a woman can do a very soft touch of her own arm to attract the attention of a man.

So the act of touching is in itself a nonverbal clue, no matter if it’s a formal greeting or a warm hug.

#12: Physiological reactions

When we talk about revealing emotions, these are the hardest to conceal body language signals.

And since they’re connected directly to the central nervous system, there is almost nothing that we can do to control them.

We are talking about sweating, pupils dilating, shortness of breath, blushing and so on.

Most of these reactions are automatic and they reveal an emotional reaction. Maybe the person feels threatened.

The only way to control them would be to control your own emotions in advance.

The main takeaway:

None of these nonverbal communication examples is more important than the others.

What’s more, you should always consider the context of the interaction to get a full understanding.

My suggestion is that you try to spot one by one at first.

It’s easy to feel overwhelmed so practice by focusing of one for a whole week and then add another.

Of course, it will always be a dynamic of comparing their nonverbal communication signals with what they are saying to spot inconsistencies.

And that’s when you will start detecting hidden emotions.

I’ve got a summary of body language and persuasion tips in a free ebook that you can download here:

https://knesix.com/tips

Much success!

Jesús Enrique Rosas

I can read your body language and write a story about it.

There was this urban legend about Anthony Hopkins never blinking when playing the iconic character from Silence of the Lambs.

While it’s not true and he does blink, the myth persisted due to a very useful quirk:

Hannibal Lecter needs no introduction, but Hopkins’ take on the character offers some insights for tough negotiations.

This man knew how to make quite an impression. We are talking about just over 16 minutes of acting in the whole movie that awarded him an Oscar for Best Actor.

The subject of ‘never blinking’ first came up because Hopkins deliberately trained himself not to blink, to keep the audience on edge over his lines.

The very few moments that he does blink… he does it slowly and deliberately.

That gives us two personality clues:

If you keep full eye contact without blinking, people are going to feel uncomfortable. In fact, solid eye contact for more than 5 seconds makes anyone a little anxious.

The fact that he blinks deliberately is a way of showing a character that leaves absolutely nothing to chance.

But in Hopkin’s words, the actual trick was stillness.

“It’s not so much not blinking, it’s just being still. Stillness has an economy and it has a power about it.”

Now that’s a nice tip to remind us about the real display of power. Keeping our demeanor calm and collected.

You can tell when people are faking it. They don’t look calm; they look… slow and clumsy.

My clients are usually very frantic people that speak a bit too fast.

Of course, they time is usually limited so that’s a natural reaction.

But that reduces their perceived power.

In the end, you’re not going to copy Hannibal Lecter’s personality ‘as is’. That would never work.

But you can work in how you deliver your words. No matter what you say, you must be mindful of every. word. you. say.

Absolutely every word is important to deliver your idea.

If you find yourself stumbling or correcting yourself when speaking, just try to talk slower.

Practice the way you deliver ideas until you find a pacing that lets you chain one idea after another seamlessly.

If you’ve played a musical instrument, you know what’s it about.

Controlling your speaking rate to match your thought process will be really useful in negotiations.

You will not only sound in control at all times; you won’t overreact to anything the other party says or demands.

Remember: Every word is important, so treat it like that.

Being able to talk in a powerful way is not only about words.

Your body language is critical too, in the art of persuasion.

You can have a head start by downloading my FREE ebook of body language and persuasion tips:

https://knesix.com/subscribe

Much success!

Jesús Enrique Rosas

I can read your body language and write a story about it.

Have you ever thought of what your body language reveals about you? One of the many perks of reading body language is the ability to read other peoples intentions. But as you may realize instantly, this means a double edged sword:

You’re revealing your own intentions too, at all times. How is this even possible?

I have some bad news and good news: the bad is that you can’t silence your body. It’s talking all the time, wether you like it or not!

The good news is that you can actually control what your body says and ‘tell’ the story that you want to project to others.

But for that, it’s much easier if you know what your body language says about you in its own nonverbal words. And for that task, we should go from the general to the specific:

1) Your standing posture body language

Of all the body language signals, the way you stand is the one that is most easily spotted at first sight. In fact, it’s the critical factor of a first impression along with your body movements and the way you’re dressed.

Knowing how to stand in a confident manner is the easiest form of projecting the body language that you want others to notice. Of course, there are other times when you want to become unnoticed, and a ‘beta’ posture is ideal for that.

 

No matter the situation, your posture (both standing and sitting) can reveal how confident you feel, your alliances with the other members of the group and if you feel comfortable with them or instead, want to leave early.

This is a very important point because most of the time, people will notice your posture even before you notice they looking at you (And they can notice other people’s posture without looking at them directly).

Posture is so powerful that you should be aware of it at all times.

2) Your facial expression

It’s no secret how much a face can reveal, and that’s why you could get nervous if someone starts looking directly at you. Your face’s emotional expressions are one of the hardest – if not impossible – to control, so you have to understand that it’s easy to let an emotion slip without you even noticing.

But all is not lost! the same way as with your posture, it’s possible to be aware of the muscles of your face and the way they contract while you’re talking to someone. That awareness starts with a very simple exercise: relaxing your face muscles whenever you can. This way, it will be much easier to notice when they contract in the middle of a conversation.

Since most of the time those facial cues spark directly from your emotions, it’s very useful if you learn how to control those internal emotions first. That way, you shouldn’t worry about what comes out in your face, because the source itself will be under your command.

2) Your clothing and accessories

Maybe a bit off the realm of actual body language, but clothing and accessories can be very good clues of a person’s character and personality. Do they prefer being comfortable, or fancy? do they project power, or nimbleness? which colors did they pick? what kind of accessories do they use?

Much has been said about what a man’s shoes can reveal about him, but it’s not only the quality and model of their walking tool but their entire attire. Grooming and general hygiene tells a lot too, so don’t skip them yourself.

3) Your hand gestures

We come back to the topic of body language with one of the most important factors of nonverbal expression: your hand gestures. You know you should be doing them whenever you can… the problem is that most people just don’t know what to do with their hands when they are talking.

One of the easiest ‘tells’, or clues to someones’ body language is the way they use their hands when emphasizing their words. Are those hand movements in sync with the words, or are they off? are they excited about what they are saying, moving their hands with energy, or are they keeping them glued to their body instead?

Remember that when we talk about what your body language reveals about you, it means what it reveals about anyone. And that’s why it’s so important to be aware of both your body and the other persons’ gestures at the same time.

4) Your feet reveal intentions, too

I’ve got an entire article about the language of feet, but to keep things short, you must know that it’s much less common to ‘lie’ with our feet because we’re not that aware of what they do. Certainly, sometimes it’s impossible to see people’s feet (like, when you’re sitting with them at a table), but feet language is essential when you want to analyze a group.

Feet orientation and movement are also essential when you want to assess the rapport, or emotional connection, with someone. Are feet pairs reflecting each other, as in a mirror? or are the feet pointing away, as if people want unconsciously to leave the room?

That’s why one of the greatest skills you can develop in body language is the ability to see people out of the corner of your eye and assess their body language without looking directly at them.

5) Your voice tone reveals emotions

“It’s not what you say, but how you say it”. Yes, you have heard it many times. But how does it work, exactly? voice quality has quite some characteristics and you could focus exclusively in voice analysis. But for practical reasons, we’ll take into account only three factors.

One of them is volume. Do people talk like they want to be heard by the neighbors, or instead they speak in a whisper? That tells you a lot about the way they project their personality, and has strong links with extraversion / introversion. The second factor is articulation. Do they articulate every word with quality pronunciation, or do they mumble? remember to be aware of those changes in the middle of a conversation to be sure if they really are sure of what they are saying.

The third factor is talking flow. Do their ideas flow like a smooth stream, or do they make constant pauses to think about the next word they are going to use? That tells you a lot about their confidence and also, if they get nervous when answering a question (For example, if someone who has a good talking flow and all of a sudden begins to stutter). That’s something you should take into account.

6) Eye movements reveal what you’re thinking

The thing with eye movements is that they are extremely quick and it’s really difficult to keep track of them during a conversation. Even then, if you’re interested in the bare minimum of ‘eye reading’ then remember this simple factor: When people look to their left (our right, if we’re standing in front of them) they are remembering; if they look to their right (our left, in this case), then they are in creative mode or imagining.

That single factor will reveal a lot about what a person is really thinking when they recall a situation and if they are accessing their memory or not.

Another factor about the eyes is blinking rate, that is really useful to determine the stress levels of someone and even reveal their reaction to a compromising question.

7) Head orientation, tilt, movement

You might think that our heads don’t move that much during a conversation, but it’s in fact a very fascinating topic the way people move, angle, tilt and adjust their head when they are talking.

A head totally upright, for example, signals that the person is not totally comfortable or even attentive to what’s being said; they are much more concerned with what is going on with their internal discourse.

Generally speaking, a person will be way more relaxed when they tilt their head a bit to one side. That’s like a ‘resting’ position and that shows that they are really paying attention to you. Notice that it could be barely noticeable, only a few degrees to either side.

The chin plays an important part too, in this dynamic. A neutral chin is the one that rests over an imaginary horizontal line. A chin a bit more ‘aggressive’ and dominant will point a bit upwards (like a defiant position), while a chin towards the chest will be more of a defensive attitude. Pay close attention to those head shifts during a conversation!

8) People act in packs… be aware of it

Another factor that you shouldn’t take lightly is the distance people use to interact. For example, closer friends will have no problem talking with just a couple feet from one another, while more formal settings require the protagonists to stay a bit farther from one another.

The real trick here is when there are four or five people on a single group, usually standing. Can you spot the dynamics between them? Who stays closer, and who is the one that gathers the most attention?

That way you can spot who’s the ‘Alpha’ of a group and focus your attention in their body language. In doing so, you can even start to imitate them slowly to build rapport with that pack leader… of course, in a really subtle and covert manner so no one notices what you’re doing!

9) Notes of sitting positions

While your posture standing is a fundamental part of what your body language reveals about you, when you’re sitting things get a little more complex; especially because your feet are now free from fighting gravity and your torso has more options, like resting on the back of the sofa or chair.

This is when you can see when someone is really interested and engaged on a conversation, or is withdrawing from it. Typically, they will lean forward when something piques their interest and lean back if they prefer to be more comfortable at the cost of not being so attentive.

The good part is that it’s not only seeing other people’s posture… remember that you can adjust yours, too! that way you can project the right attitude for the moment and give the right impression.

10) The final tip of what your body language says about you…

Yes, hand gestures are useful to tell when someone is supporting and excited about what they’re saying. But hands also do a series of gestures, called pacifying gestures, that are used under stress.

Rubbing the palms of the hands in their pants, scratching the nose, pulling the earlobe, adjusting an accessory like a ring or their hair… all are signals, some more intense than others, that people manifest an emotional response.

Notice that when I mention emotional response could be any kind of emotion, wether ‘positive’ (happy, excited, euphoric) or ‘negative’ (anger, stress, impatience). I don’t like to classify emotional reactions in these terms (emotional grading is much more complex than that), but it’s a great way to start with a simple system to read those hand gestures that serve no other purpose than make people feel a little less stressed.

You could even notice that people have certain gestures that use over and over again, no matter if they are listening or talking. In this case, it’s not as important to spot the gesture itself (As you noticed that it’s part of the persons’ baseline), but the frequency that the gesture appears. The more frequent, most probably the person is more and more stressed.

Conclusion

There are various body language signals that reveal your emotions and your intentions all the time, without you even noticing. The only way to really ‘control’ them is addressing your internal emotions that are the spark of everything that you express on the outside.

If you want to use your body language to your advantage, then subscribe to my body language tips and download my ebook, “90 body language and persuasion tips” that it’s full of illustrations that will give you a head start on the topic:

https://knesix.com/subscribe